My Best is Relative and Acceptable

Today at church, we watched the parable of the bicycle. In this parable, a young daughter wants a bike, and her dad tells her that if she saves up her money, she can have a bike. She works really hard and saves all her money, but when she visits the store to choose a bike, she realizes that she is woefully short of the required cash. Seeing her plight, her father kneels down and speaks with her face to face, saying, "Tell you what, if you give me all that you have and a hug and kiss, you can have that bike." The daughter is overjoyed and rides her new bike all the way home, her dad driving the car at a snail's pace beside her.

I really connected with this parable, even spared a tear or two. The father's words stood out to me the most; "if you give me all that you have and a hug and kiss, you can have that bike." I know that Heavenly Father wants all that I have, my whole heart. But today I thought, I don't have much left to give, I've already given it to other people. I just feel very limited in my capabilities right now because I've overextended trying to support people that I care about tremendously. I've given them so much energy that I don't have as much as I would like for my Heavenly Father.

But shortly after I thought about how little I have to give Heavenly Father, another thought came to me. He doesn't care how much you have, only that you give Him whatever you do have. Even if you're exhausted beyond belief, He only asks for what you have. Sometimes, I feel like I don't reasonably set my expectations in comparison with my capability. I expect more than I can give (hence the lack of emotional energy). I want to be perfect, and I'm quite frustrated and depressed whenever it's apparent to me that I fall short all the time.

So today, for the Savior, I tried to have expectations more reasonable to my capability. I made mistakes, a lot of them, and I wasn't perfect. I also had moments when I was a lot more severe and punishing towards myself that I should have been. But at the end of this day, I'm choosing to accept my efforts even if my results weren't perfect. My Savior wants me to progress, and I can't progress if I try to carry the weight of my imperfection; my sorrow and discouragement would drag me down. It's better to give Him my burdens and accept His Atonement. I'm expected to sin and make mistakes, that's why I have the Savior. Just because I've sinned doesn't mean that I've failed.

I tried to do what's right today, and I'll try to do better tomorrow. I'm trying to rely on the grace of my Savior. And that's good enough.