He Makes All the Difference

So, I have mixed feelings about today. I feel like the best gift that I gave my Savior today wasn't actually the one that I prayed to give Him. Yeah, I tried to follow the Spirit in my conversations with some of my associations just like I told Him, but most of my intense effort today was more of a continuation of yesterday. I had some parts of my day where I was mentally very tired. Besides confronting more negativity, I also had a lot of anxiety dealing with hypervigilance today; I was around a lot more people with a lot more noise than I'm used to. When my hypervigilance is heightened, I'm abnormally aware of what's going on around me. I'm more sensitive to the movements and sounds that people make--loudness and jerky movements feel overwhelming to me--and I'm more sensitive to touch. Every time I move, I can feel my clothes shift against my skin and my hair move. I wasn't feeling well today, so that sickness felt more acute to me as well. I'm also very sensitive to people's emotions and body language. It's a level of awareness that while it can be very useful, it's absolutely exhausting and almost painful.

So with all of that going on, if I wanted to succeed in retaining my well-being as much as possible, I had to try extra hard. And I did, because I love Heavenly Father and I don't want to give Satan any room in my life. I feel like I made some real progress today because even though it was especially hard, I was able to handle my situations pretty well. I'm really grateful for the help and guidance that my Father in Heaven gives me; it makes all the difference.