Close to the Homeless

For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?
       - King Benjamin (Mosiah 4:19)

I took another walk today. I wore a black, over-sized hoodie to shield me from the misty rain, though my brown pony-tailed hair and white ear buds stuck out in front of me. Just because of this slight shift in appearance--I normally look like a slightly nerdy white girl--people I passed in the street treated me a little differently. I got some askance looks, like they weren't sure if I was a "respectable" citizen or not. After all, I didn't look like it. I care little about how people view me, but because I was wandering Provo under a dreary, rainy twilight, I could more fully empathize with people that may not be as privileged as I am.

And because I was traveling places I don't normally go on foot, I saw a lot of things that I'm not normally exposed to. For instance, I was walking by Provo river when it started to rain (it was still daylight at this time, so I wasn't being stupidly unsafe), and I considered waiting for the rain to stop under a bridge I passed. As I contemplated the idea, I saw the profane graffiti sprayed onto the metal and concrete. I wondered, if I were homeless, would I just spend the night here? How would I escape the wet and cold if I had no friend to even temporarily take me in? How would I personally handle homelessness?

At another point, I walked in front of Macey's to reach Bulldog Blvd., and on Bulldog, I saw a man with a cardboard sign. I didn't see what it said, but I could assume that he was probably homeless, or at least close to being so. I passed him without speaking to him, thinking about how I had no money or anything to give him. 

But I had a debit card in my pocket. I wasn't completely destitute of resources. 

For the next mile that I slowly looped my way back to Macey's, I thought a lot about what moral decision I should make. I know there are a lot of panhandlers in the world. I also know that a lot of good people end up in dire circumstances. Throughout my life, both my parents and grandparents have taken in multiple poor souls. 

How lacking in human dignity must it be to beg on the side of a busy road, watching person after person avert their eyes with shame or judgment? Seeing the pity in the eyes of those who do help you?

So when I passed Macey's again, I stepped into the store and bought a $15 gift card. As a college student, I try not to spend money wastefully, so I fully intend to adjust my other spending to accommodate this loss in capital. I asked Heavenly Father to give me courage as I approached this stranger; I reasoned that in a crowed, public setting, there was no reason that I should feel unsafe. And even if this man was only panhandling, I'd rather be found guilty of being too charitable and optimistic rather than the opposite. Innocent until proven guilty; I try to apply this philosophy to all those I see and meet.

As I drew closer to him, I saw his sign this time: struggling family. There was something else written on the sign, but as I was reading, we made eye contact and I never read the rest of his message. He smiled at me. When I gave him the card, he said thank you, and I asked for his name. "Casey, and yours?" I told him my name and shook hands with him. "I can almost pay for the room, I'm fifteen dollars short; it's slow because of the rain. Thanks for your help, every little bit helps." He told me.

I don't know his circumstance or his intentions. But I do know that Heavenly Father loves him and his family. So for my Savior today, I tried to help a child of God while seeing him as such.